What’s wrong with our baby?

A taste of things to come

A taste of things to come

I have audio! It’s not much. A quick teaser of the intro I’m planning to play in each episode, but it’s something. Next weekend I am having a pre-interview chat with my first subject, and then we are going to get down to recording. I have a few small kinks… Read more

Saying yes to the possibility of answers

Saying yes to the possibility of answers

I got an interesting phone call while I was in Auckland. It felt about right, to be getting a call about Eva while I was in a place that we had spent so much time dealing with her health issues. It was Eva’s geneticist who had been away in Edinburgh… Read more

Feature on Real Imprints

The lovely people over at Real Imprints asked me to write an original piece about the Peanut and me. I crammed a year of blogging into around 4,000 words and submitted it. You can read the first half here. The second half will feature on Thursday. Spoiler alert, we learn the Peanut’s… Read more

The first 36 hours

The Peanut has been in my official care for almost 36 hours, but it hasn’t been quite what I planned. She’s with me, but she’s also surrounded by nurses and equipment. New Zealand’s top children’s hospital is her home right now, instead of at home with me. I was due… Read more

How it feels when your life makes other people thankful for their own

Prefix: I wrote this post (including the note at the end) 10 weeks ago when the Peanut was still in the hospital. I don’t feel this way now. This post was about as bad as it got. I was angry. I was looking for someone to blame. And I didn’t… Read more

Hope is a dangerous thing

A short note: Thank you to all the people who have stopped by and left comments of support. I have continued to read all of your blogs and check up on your comments in my absence. I cannot say that this is a full return, but I had a desire… Read more

Not the post I wanted to write

I do not want to be writing this post. It has been 11 days since I gave birth to the Peanut, and I have thought a lot about how much I wish I could be writing a different post. I was supposed to be sleep deprived and potentially emotional, but… Read more

One week. Two appointments. Two very different drives home.

The first appointment was with the ophthalmologist. Our obstetrician had referred us thinking it might be helpful to hear from them before this Peanut shows herself. This was also the first appointment I was going to attend solo. Mr. Million had to work and I had told my Mum she… Read more

She doesn't know what cute means yet… But I do

I know Mr. Million and I are going to think the Peanut is gorgeous. Maybe not straight away, when her head is a funny shape and she’s blotchy and goopy, but very quickly we will be smitten. We will look down at her and see half of me, and half… Read more

She doesn’t know what cute means yet… But I do

I know Mr. Million and I are going to think the Peanut is gorgeous. Maybe not straight away, when her head is a funny shape and she’s blotchy and goopy, but very quickly we will be smitten. We will look down at her and see half of me, and half… Read more

As a non-believer, I think I’ll just thank my obstetrician

Today marked our eighth scan to keep a watchful eye on our Peanut. The scans are spreading out in time now, so it has been three weeks since the last one. This means that for at least ten days between this scan and the last I forgot there was anything… Read more

Happy to be a wallflower this time

As we lined up outside the elevator to take our tour of the hospital it felt like I had never been there before. A month or so earlier I had sat in a chair in an obstetrician’s office and been told our baby might have a heart condition after vomiting… Read more

To test or not to test

The 12 week scan is the first major milestone in a lot of couple’s pregnancies. It marks the end of the first trimester, the end of the risky period for miscarriage, the end (hopefully) of the worst of morning sickness, and the first chance to see your baby on screen,… Read more

Dehydrated but well-brined – anyone got a tissue?

A newly shaven man emerged from the shadows to screams and cheers from a group of beautiful women. “Oh my gawd,” rang out from the women as their hands flew to their mouths in amazement. The man sheepishly twirled to show off his new look. A mirror was brought in… Read more

A card carrying member

Pre pregnancy, I had a certain view of pregnant people, and people with babies.  I went to a couple of baby showers where it felt like the pregnant woman in question was being initiated into some strange foreign club where every member was given all manner of obscure gifts including… Read more

The shopping list descreases

It turns out I wasn’t the only one doing research. At our follow up appointment the doctors were almost as stumped as us. When we found out we had an appointment with a genetics person, my first instinct was that she had a syndrome or disease which was causing the… Read more

What’s normal anyway?

There’s a lot they don’t tell you about pregnancy and parenthood. I had no idea bleeding noses and headaches were standard practice. Or that morning sickness would feel like the worst hangover I’ve ever had spread over 7 weeks. They didn’t tell me that I would become an expert in… Read more

What's normal anyway?

There’s a lot they don’t tell you about pregnancy and parenthood. I had no idea bleeding noses and headaches were standard practice. Or that morning sickness would feel like the worst hangover I’ve ever had spread over 7 weeks. They didn’t tell me that I would become an expert in… Read more