The true meaning of beauty

By on May 22, 2016

In the last few weeks I have been taking some active steps to help myself. I could feel, and can feel, a hint of depression crawling back into my chest. I feel tired constantly. I’ve stopped running. I’m drinking too much. I want to change that. I can’t rid myself of grief, and I don’t Read More...



Human nature and a baby in a bucket

By on January 29, 2015

I drove to Eva’s plastics appointment with my hands clenched on the wheel. I was expecting to be told that they would not be doing anything to fix her eye because it was purely cosmetic. In my pocket I had the letter Eva’s day care provider had written supporting my idea that this was about Read More...


I am the expert

By on January 16, 2015

Eva has two paediatricians at the moment. One is at the local hospital and is her main doctor, and the other is in Wellington and saw Eva when she was there in the NICU as a new born and specialises in neurological issues. Thankfully, once we move into Wellington we will just have the Neuro Read More...


A night of lovely moments

By on October 31, 2014

Last night the Peanut and I had a late one. My usual bedtime of 8.30pm was pushed out to much later. No I wasn’t out drinking or partying or even at the movies. I was at my school’s senior prize giving. On this night, the year 11s, 12s and 13s receive their awards for the Read More...



One thing at a time

By on October 17, 2014

Twelve days and counting! We’ve been hospital free for 12 days, with the Peanut’s health getting better each day. For the first couple of days she still seemed unsettled and cried in the breathless way that makes me panicky to calm her down. In my head an imaginary oxygen saturation machine is guessing at numbers Read More...


She comes from a long line of pirates

By on October 14, 2014

The Peanut has doctors confused on a number of levels. A key disagreement is between Plastics and Opthalmology over her left eye. The Plastics doctors think it’s a hemangioma (a kind of birth mark) and the Opthalmologists think it’s a cyst. Both doctors know what the other thinks, but neither are prepared to concede and Read More...