My flame burns the brightest 

By on December 31, 2015

I have shared so much about my life with Eva, my readers, and anyone else, could understandably think I don’t value privacy at all. I share Eva with the world, so you could assume I don’t feel protective of her memory. It’s something I have thought a lot about as I approach the anniversary of Read More...


A New Year, moving forward not moving on

By on December 29, 2015

The end of 2015 is approaching.  I feel conflicted about how to view it and moving forward. I’m sure some people would think I would want to put the last two years behind me. 2014 and 2015 have without a doubt been the hardest years of my life. I have felt lower and lonelier than Read More...

The full force 

By on December 27, 2015

So many of the mothers I am visiting on this trip have worried about how I will cope being around so many children. They have been concerned, quite realistically, that being around healthy, happy kids will be upsetting to me and remind me of what I have lost.  Truth be told, I don’t find it Read More...


Merry Christmas

By on December 26, 2015

Merry Christmas, everyone. This was my Christmas last year. I’m glad I got one with Eva, even if it was the only one. This year is very different, but I’ll be thinking about that little chicken licken all day long.   Read More...


I won't sit in the waiting place

By on December 23, 2015

When you lose someone you love, there are some dates and days that are harder than others. Anniversaries, birthdays, family gatherings, Christmas. They all take on a different meaning. We remember the Christmases we got to enjoy with the people we have lost, and we know that we won’t have that again. I only had Read More...


The City that never sleeps

By on December 22, 2015

They say NYC is the city that never sleeps. I don’t know that I’ve been making the most of that aspect of the city, but it did make me think of other things. This city is so big. There are so many people in a relatively small area. Buildings loom over you almost everywhere you Read More...


New York, New York

By on December 20, 2015

I so wanted to love this city. And…. I do. The buildings. The busyness. The subway. The Christmas trees on every corner. The pizza. The sky scrapers. The excess and spectacle of Times Square. The architecture and gargoyles. The beautiful interiors of the Public Library and Grand Central Station, which make you get a crick Read More...


Friendship in motherhood

By on December 18, 2015

Friendships have always been hugely important to me. As a child and teenager they were what made my world go round. In the days before I developed a phobia of phone conversations I would spend hours with my ear against a headset, reliving the whole day’s events with a friend.  My teenage friendships were, as Read More...