A taste of things to come

A taste of things to come

I have audio! It’s not much. A quick teaser of the intro I’m planning to play in each episode, but it’s something. Next weekend I am having a pre-interview chat with my first subject, and then we are going to get down to recording. I have a few small kinks… Read more

The Platinum Fundraiser

The Platinum Fundraiser

I’ve written before about that platitude that special needs parents get told that they will meet “some of the most amazing people” through being their child’s parent. The first time I heard it I rolled my eyes and scoffed. What possible friendship could make this situation alright? I thought. It… Read more

Spring is in bloom

Spring is in bloom

It’s almost Spring. And after what has felt like a rough couple of weeks I got a couple of nice, Springtime surprises. The first was discovering that the kowhai plant that was sent to me by my cousins was flowering. I am terrible with plants. I either over water or… Read more

Our summer

Our summer

A colleague told me he had to drink a lot of water after reading yesterday’s post, to replenish his tears. So I looked through my photos and decided to share something happier. Our first and last proper holiday together. Over the summer Eva and I drove to New Plymouth for… Read more

Eva's things

Eva's things

I picked up Eva’s things today. When she died, the coroner’s office took her bedding, her sheets, her blankets, anything in and around her cot, for testing. Most of it was replaceable. But there was one blanket, a crocheted woolen brown blanket, that I wanted back. I used it from… Read more

The flip side of scary

All the equipment is here. I now just need to test it out, record my first interview and learn to edit! The podcast is still weeks away from its launch, but it feels so close. And I’m nervous. I know I put myself out there multiple times a week to… Read more

It's almost ready to go

It's almost ready to go

The podcast is so close to becoming a reality. I am waiting on just one tiny piece of equipment and I am ready to go. The set up is almost complete. After staring at my mixer for over an hour, and then turning to YouTube in desperation, I now know… Read more

This vulnerable infant

This vulnerable infant

Eva’s post mortem arrived today. It’s been over five months since she died. A letter came with the full report, instructing me to open the document in the presence of a friend or family member. I didn’t take heed. Thankfully, Eva’s paediatrician had already told me the crux of it.… Read more

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

I started my second round of sign language classes today. We started off just about where we left off, talking about our families. There were three people from my earlier classes, but the rest of the class was new to me. And I “talked” about Eva. More than once. The… Read more

I'm in a unique position, and I know it

I'm in a unique position, and I know it

I’m in a unique position as a special needs mother. Eva died in one of the slightly easier stages of her life. I had got past the difficult first months. The time of adjustment and grief. I had accepted my girl for who she was, but as a baby the… Read more