Human nature and a baby in a bucket

I drove to Eva’s plastics appointment with my hands clenched on the wheel. I was expecting to be told that they would not be doing anything to fix her eye because it was purely cosmetic. In my pocket I had the letter Eva’s day care provider had written supporting my… Read more

Your heart outside your body

This week is my first week back at school. We have teacher’s only days and organisational days and on Friday I will get to see some students again. I’ve spent the better part of the last week or so at school getting my classroom set up and organising myself. Just… Read more

Communication through movement

Eva is both profoundly blind and deaf. I am sure she has light perception in her right eye and maybe can see large shapes because of this, but her hearing is next to nothing. She has been recommended for bilateral cochlear implants this year, and while this is fantastic, it… Read more

I am the expert

Eva has two paediatricians at the moment. One is at the local hospital and is her main doctor, and the other is in Wellington and saw Eva when she was there in the NICU as a new born and specialises in neurological issues. Thankfully, once we move into Wellington we… Read more

Fun with abaci

Over the holidays I didn’t spend as much time practicing things like Eva’s sitting skills as I would have liked. We were busy doing summer things. So when I put her in the high chair today I was very happy to see her sitting up really pretty well. I put… Read more

The Woman I Was Before I Knew

The Woman I Was Before I Knew

This blogger never fails to make me think and reflect. After a bit of a mini panic yesterday over life and doctors and work and everything else I have to fit into a day, it’s very nice to know there are other mothers out there who are doing and feeling… Read more

It begins

So it begins. Today was when I arranged with myself for my holidays to be over. Today I would start working on planning for school, rearranging Eva’s appointments and surgeries. Tomorrow Eva goes into daycare full time. Today I had a list of things I wanted to get done. My… Read more


Let me preface this post by saying I am not a poet. While I love to write, and I love to read poetry, writing it has always felt like fumbling in the dark. Any poetry I write feels trite and cliche and clunky to me. I search too hard for… Read more

The last 5kms

I’ve had three nights away from Eva. The most I have had since she has been back with me has been two, and I’m really feeling it. The first two nights I exhaled and relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of sleep without my senses being on high alert for her… Read more

Sun, surf and sand

The Peanut is having a week of firsts. Not physical milestones this time (although the girl is pretty darn squiggly these days and can make her way across a room very quickly when she’s determined) but life milestones. First summer holiday. First swim in the ocean. Heck, first trip to… Read more