A day for optimism – what the Peanut can do, instead of what she can’t

I don’t know if it’s because I slept for 12 hours straight last night, or just because I’m sick of complaining, but today I want to tell you about the things the Peanut CAN do. I’ve always thought of myself as a realist. That’s my euphemism for pessimist. But in… Read more

A day for optimism – what the Peanut can do, instead of what she can't

I don’t know if it’s because I slept for 12 hours straight last night, or just because I’m sick of complaining, but today I want to tell you about the things the Peanut CAN do. I’ve always thought of myself as a realist. That’s my euphemism for pessimist. But in… Read more

My hard, beautiful love – by Heather Kirn Lanier

An online friend showed me this article and it felt so familiar and resonant for me that I wanted to share it. It’s written by Heather Kirn Lanier and features in Brain, Child magazine. Click through to read the rest. My Hard, Beautiful Love “I’m not supposed to tell you about… Read more

Seriously?!

When it rains it pours! After coming home to sleep, with the Peanut being watched closely by her Dad in hospital, I was woken by my courageous friend and housemate at 9.30pm after she had scared away some guys trying to steal my car. She went to get the laundry… Read more

Back in hospital

The room is one flight up, but the view is the same. I can see the cars picking up and dropping off patients, cars on the road passing obliviously by, pigeons waddling past my window. The last time I had this view, the Peanut was in the SCBU and I… Read more

The bottom of the well

When you combine a tendency to cry when stressed, angry, sad, tired, under pressure and forced to speak to a large crowd, with five very hard months you get a lot of tears. My eyes have produced more salt water than I ever thought possible. A serious bout of sobbing… Read more

Temporarily tubeless

Seven nights in the PICU, and two nights and counting in the children’s ward. I am quietly harrassing the doctors to discharge us as the Peanut is now on no support with no need of extra oxygen. She’s back to her old self, smiling, napping, blowing rasberries and sucking frantically… Read more

We’ve got this

We have been in the PICU for a week now. This time last week I was sitting beside a very distressed baby who had not yet been intubated. Now, a week later, she has the lowest level of breathing support, nasal prongs on low flow, and we are waiting to… Read more

We've got this

We have been in the PICU for a week now. This time last week I was sitting beside a very distressed baby who had not yet been intubated. Now, a week later, she has the lowest level of breathing support, nasal prongs on low flow, and we are waiting to… Read more

It takes a special person

    If you read blogs written by special needs parents, you will recognise the post where they talk about people asking them how they do it? People look at their lives, their family’s lives and they ask “how do you manage?” I haven’t been asked that question yet, probably… Read more

She’s on the mend

She’s on the mend. She’s moving in the right direction. Slowly. Since she was admitted to Starship Hospital on Saturday night she has been switched to CPAP and off full ventilation. The nurses tried multiple times to reduce her support but each time they did The Peanut would breath for… Read more

She's on the mend

She’s on the mend. She’s moving in the right direction. Slowly. Since she was admitted to Starship Hospital on Saturday night she has been switched to CPAP and off full ventilation. The nurses tried multiple times to reduce her support but each time they did The Peanut would breath for… Read more

THANK YOU!!!

In the last five months I have needed more help and support than I have ever needed in my life. Sometimes I needed someone to talk to. Other times I needed help with making sure I fed myself. There were the times I needed a few words of encouragement. And… Read more

The first 36 hours

The Peanut has been in my official care for almost 36 hours, but it hasn’t been quite what I planned. She’s with me, but she’s also surrounded by nurses and equipment. New Zealand’s top children’s hospital is her home right now, instead of at home with me. I was due… Read more

ONE MORE SLEEP!!

One more sleep and my baby girl is coming home. One more sleep and I get to see those smiles every day. One more sleep and I get to know the ins and outs of her schedule, be the expert on all that is the Peanut. One more sleep and… Read more

The Peanut is coming home

It’s time to come clean. Get ready for a long read. While people have called me brave and strong and a great mother to the Peanut, I have been keeping something quiet. For the last two months, the Peanut has not been in my care. She has been in the… Read more